BEYOND RELIGION AND CULTURE: Today, many people are concerned about their spiritual life, job, facial look and sundry without showing great concern for their love or relationship life.
The nonchalant attitude towards the later is a problem in our daily life today. As a people or individuals, this calls for a great concern and we have to look into some of the things that often fail our love life.
Much as we believe that stubbornness, ego, responsibility make love fail, character encompasses all of the above. Our behaviour towards each other can make or mar our love.
How we treat others or the love we show to the other often depends on family, culture and environment and others we inherited.
For example, I once visited a lady. We talked a lot of things and she gave me the height of hospitality. But when I wanted to go home, she neither escorted me to open her office gate nor escort me, as has been a tradition in my clime. She didn’t even call or send a text to enquire if I got home.
After two days of the visit, she sent a text enquiring why I didn’t care to reach her since I left. That’s a story for another day.
However, I have a policy: I don’t repeat a journey twice where I feel I am not accepted. Others perhaps think that it is only when a man has gone under the skin of a woman that he can leave. Different strokes to different people. Character keeps me or repels me while dealing with any body. It doesn’t matter what I have lost or gained. It depends on my joy and how I am appreciated.
Relationship is a beautiful thing, but many people are not dedicated to understand the tenets of handling this business called affairs, but are rather busy with excesses ignoring the vital aspect of human life.
Love alone will not make a relationship but attitude. You might have a good intention towards a person but you are overtly or covertly showcasing odoriferous characters towards the person you love or that loves you, hence killing love on the altar of oversight or hindsight.
It is obvious that a man and woman who came together for love’s sake are concerned about hooking up by any cost and not actually working against all their personal negative lifestyles; they see all the negativities as possitvities. It only takes a mature or discerning mind to sieve behavioural irritants as not part of love and begin earlier to follow the person or pull out.
Much as our behaviours are different, a relationship is like a job interview. When you feel you have all it takes to gain a particular job and in the course of interview, if all your professed qaulifications don’t meet with the company’s want, they won’t employ you.
It is not always better to single out love as the only thing that works in a relationship, it is our character that build love. In the absence of qaulitative character, there is no love.
There is no love where there is no happiness. It is character that build or kill happiness in a relationship. We know there are biological issues that kill relationship but this is always on another plane of love affairs.
Make every relationship as if you are responsible for it. This is what character means. Value the other person. Make the person feel wanted always. We are not attracted to the opposite sex by their facial, financial and sundry acquisitions only; we are better attracted when our attraction is built on the foundation of maximum character which evolves into love, be it romantic or platonic love.
Let’s always know that attraction alone can’t buy manners, morals and intelligence.
© ODIMEGWU ONWUMERE
May 20 2021.