By Odimegwu Onwumere
Some of our ‘Ogas at the top’ behave as if they do not need love from their ‘Boys at the bottom’. They loathe showing kindness to their boys. What they see as the showing of kindness is the pittance they give to their boys, even when the boys must be working tirelessly for recognition and upliftment.
The boys exhibit the most kindness, but are rewarded with a lot of pain. This act demoralises the boys, showcasing their Ogas as persons, who do not need love and do not recognise love, when given them. The boys are the ones who take care of the Ogas’ every need, but are not taken care of in the appropriate manner that would make them to smile, when no one is around.
Many of the boys have only been rewarded with tears they shed, when no one is around them. In the relationship between the Ogas and the boys, the former see it as something that the boys alone must be giving, without them showing love, forgiveness, kindness, compassion to the boys, when they need them the most.
The Ogas eschew the advise that was credited to one Og Mandino, who remarks, “Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.”
Another has it: “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” The life the Ogas live is the continuous keeping of the boys at the level they were picked; the Ogas prefer feigning a life of completeness and purity, by only helping those of their friends and cronies, who already have enough; they do not help the boys, because the boys have not helped them financially.
The Ogas would prefer to hurt the boys, because of preferences. The Ogas are knack in showing friendship in words alone to the boys, without their hearts burning with loving-kindness for all the boys, who crossed their paths, for a change to come their ways. The Ogas have refused to be lectured to understand that kindness means the quality of being kind and not, the quality of amassing wealth and owning conglomerate of cartels and business empires.
To be an Oga does not mean to have a large crowd of boys, who do your works for you, but to also be kind, considerate and generous to them, so that they could enjoy the legacy of having their own boys by tommorrow, whom they would in-turn show kindness, generosity towards in order to become Ogas. Being an Oga should go with Kindness and meaningful generosity, not for political or cheap publicity, but also for virtue to foster humanity.
It was written: “Little deeds of kindness and little words of love make the earth pleasant like the heavens above. A part of kindness involves in loving people more than they deserve. Everyone responds to kindness.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832), German writer, philosopher and scientist, was it who said, “If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain how he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.”
The Ogas are much interested in making more money and rich friends and not, in becoming really interested in the affairs of their boys and trying to get them uplifted. The Ogas are ready to go for the kill if reminded of the prudent saying of a George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950), Irish playwright and journalist thus: “If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.”
They go for this kill to remain at the top. And while the Ogas make progress by the efforts of their boys, whom they hardly take to cognizance are smarter than them, they do not create positive force field of attraction that repels the anguish of the boys, so that the boys would one day be like them. They prefer to create a negative work force against the boys by creating fear, lavishing blame on the boys, instead of wealth. And they forgot that when the boys are not happy, the work is internally not given the best.
The attitude of the Ogas to their boys shows that they are only interested in self, and not group. They are suspicious, always showing unlovely traits. Even when the boys are on their best behaviours, the Ogas have bad behaviours echoed all about them. The Ogas want to be understood at all the time by the boys, but hardly understand the plights and desires of the boys.
From childhood, Yours Truly has been told that “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted”. As an adult, many kindnesses shown to many persons seemed wasted, because they misplaced them and took Yours Truly as a fool they have tricked and dumped. In this aspect, such reward from those shown the kindnesses is what makes some persons become wicked and begin to reward the world with wickedness evermore. In their families, they would become the fingered, when the word wicked was mentioned and are, not ready to be cordial and well-mannered to strangers.
Conversely, it pays to be kind. This makes persons to be citizens of the world. Let the Ogas learn to show kindness to their boys for their direction in life. The Ogas should understand that “a single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees”. (Amelia Earhart, Magic City Morning Star, Jun. 1, 2005). They should not be making their boys to regret that their efforts of kindness are wasted. The Ogas should know that there is no law in the world that is greater than kindness.
In “Helps to Happiness”, Nicias Ballard Cooksey, says: Kindness is helpful to the happiness of both recipient and giver. Who does not feel happier on showing kindness to others, and who does not feel happier on receiving the manifestation of kindness? Deeds of kindness shown in the little things of life constitute man’s chief happiness. Many are not able to do any great things for others, but all can find abundant opportunity of showing little deeds of kindness which will add much to the happiness of mankind.
“The Healing Power of Kindness” by Jean Maalouf says: More than anything else, kindness is a way of life. It is a way of living and walking through life. It is a way of dealing with all that is ourselves, our bodies, our dreams and goals, our neighbors, our competitors, our enemies, our air, our earth, our animals, our space, our time, and our very consciousness. Do we treat all creation with kindness? Isn’t all creation holy and divine?
Odimegwu Onwumere, a Poet/Writer, writes from Rivers State.